To our darling little girl on your 6th birthday.

Its been something of a transition year as our family unit grows up!  We have been rebuilding our forever home, with a subtle place for you throughout its design including the stained glass in the front door, one of the highlights of the house!  We are sad you cant be with us in our forever home, but you will forever be a part of it.  Your brothers have both had a year of transition as well - Freddy started school the day before your 6th birthday, a momentous day for him and us as a family, albeit tinged with sadness that you never had chance to achieve that!  He is a real little person these days, a joy to be with (mostly!) and with an increasing awareness of you as his big sister.  Arran has all the words for a two year old and gives the best hugs and whenever he sees a picture of himself as a baby, he always says its baby Chloe!  We are gutted we never got chance to see too much of your personality, beyond your feisty determination, but we know you would be proud of the little people they are becoming. 

Mummy and Daddy have had a busy year of work and house focus, so our fundraising is in a slower period.  We are still readying ourselves for our Mont Blanc ascent to scatter your ashes, hopefully for your 10th birthday.  Meantime, your ashes came with us to the rental house and remain with us daily in our rings. 

Daddy did manage the Great North Run last autumn with Andy, fundraising for Bliss in your honour.  Daddy continues to support Bliss as a trustee, helping support the new chair of trustees as he settles into role and also steering the next 3 year strategy of the charity, building on the foundations of the £1m donation they received.  The charity sector and society as a whole is headed for tougher times, but Bliss is hopefully well setup to ride out the storm and prosper beyond, as part of your legacy.  Mummy has also applied to be a Trustee at First Touch as she finishes work, which would be an amazing contribution to your legacy - we have our fingers as crossed as your eyes on the days you used to made us giggle.

We spent your birthday trying to hike a different part of the peak district, our new home near (not quite in!) the mountains / hills.  Sadly the rain came before we got up the Thorpe Cloud via the Stepping Stones, but we will try again another day just like you had to on your multiple attempts to get off the ventilator.  As mummy says in her note below, you taught us that plans change and we have to adapt.  From mummy...

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Today we celebrated your 6th birthday, our darling daughter and first born child, Chloe. 💚🎈🎂
 
We went with a plan to hike Thorpe Cloud. To be “high up near the sky” (as your brothers say), where we feel closest to you. We were blighted by the most mega of rain storms (which we were woefully unprepared for), so we didn’t get up high, but we played in the water and much fun was had in amongst beautiful Mother Nature. ⛰
 
Thankfully nobody taught us better than you that plans change and we have to adapt. ✨💦🐳💦✨
 
It’s a different kind of celebration, because you’re not here with us. You can’t blow out your candles (it’s ok, your little brothers are happy to help) and we can’t hold you tight and give you gifts. 😭
But you are here. You are with us today, more so than any other day, and there are so many gifts to be grateful for. You are in our hearts. You fill the well for our tears to flow. You are the energy in our laughter, and the reason we live how we live. Your biggest gift is our sense of perspective, the depth of gratitude for all we do have, and the ever present reminder to maximise our opportunities and prioritise what matters. 💫💚✨
 
6 years ago we became first time parents with no clue how to navigate this journey with you. Supported by the amazing NHS team, we learned about the NICU, and we escaped the fear by sitting together and talking about what your name should be.
 
#chloefilipagracecalder 💕🐳🙏🏼
 
Chloe was the girls name we both loved - top of our list. The midwife who was with us through the very frightening shift the day before you arrived, and who delivered you the next night, was also called Chloe. 💕
We called you Flipper before you were born because you flipped over and over in your early scans. So we decided your middle name would be Filipa. 🐳
Tuesday’s child is full of grace, and the graceful way you handled the most insane few days to arrive calmly, naturally avoiding a complex c-section, is why we also named you Grace. 🙏🏼
 
There’ll only ever be one of you, and we will do everything we can to keep you with us in whichever form that takes. Our first born, our biggest life lesson and an epic love story.
 
Happy birthday, baby girl. We love you deeply. Thankyou for your time with us here x

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Happy birthday to our special little girl, from all your family as we prepare for the next stage of our lives back in our forever home with you around us.  You will always be our first born and forever part of our family.

Mummy, Daddy, 'Bow, Freddy & Arran xxxxxx